I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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