just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize
