yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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