sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize