seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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