drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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