Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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