The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
