yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
