If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
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You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
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Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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