im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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