take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
