when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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