hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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