you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
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just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
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i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
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