She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
