If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
