so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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