I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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