Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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