I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize