lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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