But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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