ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
