she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
