look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
