Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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