I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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