His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
