plz talk dirty to me
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
