is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
