apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
