i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
