At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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