Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
