nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
