Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
This is not my ceiling
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
