What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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