You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
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