And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
