I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize