I haven't been this sober since birth.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
