Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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