mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.