You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk