Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips

  (515): View more from Iowa

  there is no god

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  (515): I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips (515): there is no god http://tfl.nu/6fwr
  Replies (16) Good night (700) Bad night (2181)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.

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  (417): Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls. http://tfl.nu/0cx7
  Replies (12) Good night (3229) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake

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  (501): he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake http://tfl.nu/mrvl
  Replies (21) Good night (4254) Bad night (839)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.

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  (908): this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up. http://tfl.nu/ay5l
  Replies (33) Good night (1258) Bad night (5187)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.

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  (401): What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy. http://tfl.nu/6xxv
  Replies (25) Good night (8364) Bad night (1041)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.

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  (612): I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick. http://tfl.nu/mxvd
  Replies (10) Good night (917) Bad night (2906)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"

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  (414): I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics" http://tfl.nu/bnvl
  Replies (6) Good night (1052) Bad night (3822)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.

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  (541): side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children. http://tfl.nu/bng1
  Replies (2) Good night (3339) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series

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  (402): Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series http://tfl.nu/c4pq
  Replies (13) Good night (3126) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (682): View more from Texas

  I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face

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  (682): I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face http://tfl.nu/zwwu
  Replies (16) Good night (5392) Bad night (1051)
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  (714): View more from California

  I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.

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  (714): I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5. http://tfl.nu/iwbe
  Replies (2) Good night (387) Bad night (678)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.

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  (937): Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills. http://tfl.nu/u4sm
  Replies (0) Good night (311) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.

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  (415): LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking. http://tfl.nu/5t1f
  Replies (10) Good night (314) Bad night (1977)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.

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  (408): I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks. http://tfl.nu/3vr5
  Replies (2) Good night (314) Bad night (210)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Spopky scrzy skeletonssz

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  (615): I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET. (865): Spopky scrzy skeletonssz http://tfl.nu/c8hh
  Replies (5) Good night (597) Bad night (226)

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