Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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