??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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