I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
