Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
im drinking this country out of the recession.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Shame is for Republicans.
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