If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize