Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
