I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
