Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
