...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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