Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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