Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The adults are the big ones right?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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