He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
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The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
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she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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