Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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