i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
