Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
is it fun? or sober?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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