Soap is not a condiment
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
