I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
