I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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