I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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