I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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