Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
